TETSUOOOOO!!!!! 2
by Aristotle
Summary: Everyone hated the first one, so I had to write another


[Please do not read the following story if you are offended by the following Stupid Seventh Grade style humor, Sexual slurs and situations and or harsh language]  
  
Somewhere on some random planet a few BAJILLION miles away from Earth, there was a Terran base, in this Terran base were a bunch of guys wearing armor and carrying big rifles. And inside one of the buildings inside the base….  
  
A few Terran soldiers were sitting around looking at porno. One of them that held a magazine that said "Hardcore Gay Porn with Toys and Farm Animals" on the front was grinning like mad. He crossed his legs, the way a woman would if she was wearing a dress. Everyone stared at him and spoke in unison  
  
"DON'T DO THAT STAN!"  
  
Stan uncrossed his legs. Suddenly an alarm went off from out of nowhere, they all groaned and started to leave. One of the soldiers walked over to a door with the word "Bathroom" on it and knocked. "What are you doing in there, Roy?" the soldier asked. "I'm dropping a load" the voice replied from the otherside. The soldier on the outside looked confused "Well pinch it off! We gotta go!"  
  
Meanwhile!!  
  
The Zerg Cerebrate pumped rigorously inside the Zerg nest. Suddenly, a humanoid figure walked out of it. It was….THE CHICK FROM SPECIES! She looked at the Cerebrate. The Cerebrates voice echoed inside her head "So….I'll call you?" it said. "Sure!" she shouted "My number is 1-800-ICANTACT"   
  
Momentary silence……  
  
And for no reason, a bunch of Zerglings were having sex with each other.   
  
Outside…..Terran Marines and other Terran army War Machines charged toward the Zerg nest. A few rookies toward the back started to cry. "Were not going to make it! I'm a forty-five year old virgin, I don't wanna die!" the soldier sat on a rock and started to masturbate. A bear then ate him.   
  
Up ahead, Terran soldiers crouched behind rocks and started to fire their weapons at the Zerg as they charged forward. If a Zergling got far enough, it started to hump the Terran Marines. A few blasted the Zerglings into tiny bite sized pieces, the others joined in for an orgy! Stan was included. He, also, was eaten by a bear.   
  
A few miles away, a couple rednecks sat on top of a mountain, drinking beer. An explosion ripped through the area of the battle. A charred Zerg drone lay before the two rednecks. "Hey, Jimbo, what's that?" one Redneck asked. The other arched his eyebrows "I dunno! Let's shoot it!" Jimbo said. The first Redneck stopped him as he picked up his rifle. "I got a better idea! Ever see 'Deliverance'?" The Drones eyes widened. On Earth, Jon Voight started to cry.  
  
At the battle, the two forces had given up and were now forming a long chain of homosexuality. Every soldier was bent over and being sodomized by another soldier in and endless line! The Zerglings were having sex with each other as well! And Natasha Henstridge made another horrible movie.   
  
Outside the giant orgy, Aristotle's A-Team was watching in horror. This A-Team consisted of Jet Li, Mr. T, Jon Stewart, Jim Raynor, Artanis, Bill Gates and The two guys from "The Way of the Gun" and a North American grizzly! Jet Li pulled out a motorcycle from his pocket and yelled "We have to do something! This is demoralizing today's youth!". Jon Stewart scratched his head "A guy walked into a bar, the other guy ducked. What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? A Pokemon!"   
"I pitty da' foo' who be joinin' that orgy. They should use 1-800-Collect instead."  
The A-Team walked into the orgy and went to work. Jet Li hit people with motorbikes, Mr. T convinced everyone to use 1-800-Collect, Raynor set mines and got things to chase him into a Death Trap, The Guys from "The Way of the Gun" started to run over the orgiers in a station wagon, Artanis blasted everything into dust, Jon Stewart told midget jokes and Bill Gates ripped off "The Matrix" and hooked up all the Zerg and Terran to a computer generated world with twice as many Megahertz and faster internet connection than the original Matrix. The North American Grizzly ate people. When they finished, the A-Team went to Pizza Hut for a slice. The End  
  
Heh, if you didn't like "TETSUOOOO!!!" this is for you. 


End file.
